A DREAM I HAD SOMETIME IN 2008

I dreamt that Patti Smith had asked me to take part in a gig. I was on stage playing and it sounded good. I was wearing a long suede coat and I spun around but I realised I was playing guitar, not drums (which is what I am learning). I looked down and saw that I was in fact playing bass and I wondered how I was playing, as I have never played bass.

I decided to take a pill (I think a Melatonin) and then I was backstage and everyone was very frosty towards me, except for Patti Smith who said something nice: “well we can’t have that again” but in a very kindly way. I realised I had passed out on stage and the guitarist whose place I had usurped was furious because a great musician had been guesting that night and he’d missed his chance to play with him because of me – me idiot. I kept trying to reassure myself that what I had done wasn’t that bad. But I realised it was a disaster.

I felt confused and couldn’t find my shoes so I put on some nice brothel creepers with a leopard triangle on the toe. Patti Smith then politely but in an exasperated tone asked me to give her her shoes back. Everyone had left and avoided me. Finally the tour manager said goodbye and said: “I can’t give you a hug because it’s bad Fung Shui”.

Then I walked out into the night and saw some little kids throwing stones at the windows of a house. I hung around watching then recognised the house was that of my son’s school friend. I said to the kids: “Oh don’t throw stones, the people who live there are quite nice”